The Little Puppy

In January I signed up to be a substitute teacher for grades Head Start-1st. I have had a wonderful time doing this! My favorite class is Kindergarten. One day I hope to be a Kindergarten teacher. :) This is from today:

Yesterday morning one little boy brought a tiny stuffed puppy from home. He had  been told several times to stop playing with it and pay attention to the teacher. Well he just couldn't keep his hands off his little puppy so the teacher had to take it away. She told him that it would spend the night and he could have it back today. Fast forward to today... This little boy had to go visit the office and ended up getting spankings. The first thing he asked when he got back to class was if he could have his little puppy back. The teacher said he could as long as he had a good afternoon. He got all excited and started telling her that today was it's birthday and that he had to take him home so he wouldn't miss his party. He continued talking about the party for a few mins and then the teacher asked him if he was the dogs dad or if he was just a friend. The little boy said no I'm his Uncle. We just laughed and laughed at this little boys story about the party and being the the Uncle. He was just too cute! I wish I could say that he was able to take his puppy home but he ended up getting in trouble again. The puppy missed his party and will have to spend a few more nights at school. :(

Opening Up

It has been way too long since I have written here. I wish I could say that this post is going to be happy & fun but I don't think it will. What I'm going to be writing is something that has been on my mind a lot lately but I have just ignored it. It's something I don't want to admit but I feel the need to. It won't be easy to hit publish but I know when I do a huge weight will be lifted off of me. So here I go...

Growing up I have been the shy one, I didn't like crowds of new people I didn't know, I even went through a period of not going to Church when my parents were out of town. I felt most comfortable in my house or with people I knew. When I was a teenager I went through a period of depression, & my Mom & I had daily fights where we both ended up hurt & crying. I went to counseling & took some meds for my depression & got much better. I still wasn't the person I should/could have been, but I was better. When I moved out on my own for the first time it was because I couldn't respect my Mom enough to obey & not cause daily arguments. So I moved out. It took some time but our relationship grew. I feel like we repaired our broken relationship & got better. Looking back now I wish I had acted different then but I didn't. I lived in Tyler for about 2 years, had a pretty good job, and was enjoying my life. Only problem was I wasn't enjoying life like I should have. I met a Christian guy and we started dating, we really liked each other but our relationship didn't last for several reasons. One of those being sin. I won't go into detail but I did some things I shouldn't have done. That was about three years ago. During these past three years I have still struggled with different things. At times I like to think I'm perfect but I'm not. I'm far from it. I haven't been as close to God as I need to be. As much as I don't want to admit it, I pushed Him away. I turned to other things/people when I should have & needed to turn to God. Today I'm slowing crawling back to Him. I'm not where I need to be. I'm far from it. There are still many times when I don't turn to God, I ignore him. I know deep down inside that I need to change that but change is hard. I have been in a Beth Moore Bible study the past few weeks & it has made me really start to think about things & my life. I have ignored a lot but tonight I was opened back up & made myself think about some things. I realized that I can't go on living my life without God. He MUST be in my life daily, no matter what. There are several things in my life that I have been wanting lately but I haven't gotten them. I believe part of that is that my relationship with God hasn't been what it should be. Once I let Him back in my life he will start to bless me with things I have been wanting. I realized something: Why should He even bother giving me something now when I don't have my full faith in Him? I'm not trying to say that once I'm back on the right path and with Him 100% that he will grant me all my dreams & wishes. He may & he may not. I do know that as long as I'm off by myself & on vacation from Him then He won't. Life is hard & not easy at times but with God I can do it. Without Him, I am nothing. I don't want to be nothing, I want to be something. I want to be Katie. I want to be a Godly women not only for me but for my family, friends, & future Husband that is out there somewhere. 

Sorry if that made no sense at all or was just a mess. I was mostly writing things from my heart. It feels good to have that weight lifted off of me!