Opening Up

It has been way too long since I have written here. I wish I could say that this post is going to be happy & fun but I don't think it will. What I'm going to be writing is something that has been on my mind a lot lately but I have just ignored it. It's something I don't want to admit but I feel the need to. It won't be easy to hit publish but I know when I do a huge weight will be lifted off of me. So here I go...

Growing up I have been the shy one, I didn't like crowds of new people I didn't know, I even went through a period of not going to Church when my parents were out of town. I felt most comfortable in my house or with people I knew. When I was a teenager I went through a period of depression, & my Mom & I had daily fights where we both ended up hurt & crying. I went to counseling & took some meds for my depression & got much better. I still wasn't the person I should/could have been, but I was better. When I moved out on my own for the first time it was because I couldn't respect my Mom enough to obey & not cause daily arguments. So I moved out. It took some time but our relationship grew. I feel like we repaired our broken relationship & got better. Looking back now I wish I had acted different then but I didn't. I lived in Tyler for about 2 years, had a pretty good job, and was enjoying my life. Only problem was I wasn't enjoying life like I should have. I met a Christian guy and we started dating, we really liked each other but our relationship didn't last for several reasons. One of those being sin. I won't go into detail but I did some things I shouldn't have done. That was about three years ago. During these past three years I have still struggled with different things. At times I like to think I'm perfect but I'm not. I'm far from it. I haven't been as close to God as I need to be. As much as I don't want to admit it, I pushed Him away. I turned to other things/people when I should have & needed to turn to God. Today I'm slowing crawling back to Him. I'm not where I need to be. I'm far from it. There are still many times when I don't turn to God, I ignore him. I know deep down inside that I need to change that but change is hard. I have been in a Beth Moore Bible study the past few weeks & it has made me really start to think about things & my life. I have ignored a lot but tonight I was opened back up & made myself think about some things. I realized that I can't go on living my life without God. He MUST be in my life daily, no matter what. There are several things in my life that I have been wanting lately but I haven't gotten them. I believe part of that is that my relationship with God hasn't been what it should be. Once I let Him back in my life he will start to bless me with things I have been wanting. I realized something: Why should He even bother giving me something now when I don't have my full faith in Him? I'm not trying to say that once I'm back on the right path and with Him 100% that he will grant me all my dreams & wishes. He may & he may not. I do know that as long as I'm off by myself & on vacation from Him then He won't. Life is hard & not easy at times but with God I can do it. Without Him, I am nothing. I don't want to be nothing, I want to be something. I want to be Katie. I want to be a Godly women not only for me but for my family, friends, & future Husband that is out there somewhere. 

Sorry if that made no sense at all or was just a mess. I was mostly writing things from my heart. It feels good to have that weight lifted off of me!

Pictures

Today I got out my camera and how some fun! Took pics of the first flower in the yard this year, my dog, and one of the cats. Then I played around with photo editing software. Enjoy!

Lola's pics will come another day. Hope you enjoyed these! I had fun playing around with them!

Ten in 10 Week 2

Hope you have had a good week. How did you do for week 2 of Ten in 10? I didn't do so well. I failed big time. Notice there is no list of foods I had or how much I walked. Yeah it was bad. I went way off this week. I'm happy to say that tomorrow is another day and a brand new week! I have 8 weeks to get back on this train and lose weight! For week 1 I ate better. I had salads for lunch, cut back on food intake, and walked. During this past week I didn't do hardly any of those. I ate junk food, didn't walk at all, and ate what I wanted. I think part of the reason I failed is that during week 1 I had a root canal. I couldn't eat much for about 5 days and what I could eat was nasty soft foods. It helped me lose 5 pounds during that first week but then when I could eat normal foods I just stuffed them in. I craved them. Like I said before I'm happy that tomorrow is a new day and a new week. A chance to start fresh! That is just what I'm going to do!

Here is my plan for week 3:

• Go back to having a salad at lunch. Put some turkey or chicken on it, a few nuts, and a boiled egg.
• Start walking again. I felt so much better when I was moving.
• Tuesday I'm joining a weight loss challenge group. This will be my fourth. I have gotten 2nd and 3rd place before and now I want to be 1st! I know I can do it! I just have to set my mind on it and go!
• Keep a food diary to post next week.

One new thing I did this week was to add a weight loss counter at the bottom of my blog. I have to say I didn't want to put it up. I think having it there where the world (and me) can see it will help encourage me to want to get this weight off so I can take that thing down!

I didn't want to get on my scale this week but I did. I knew I hadn't lost any weight. I could feel it. I was right. I gained 2 pounds. Yuck! This next week I want to get those back off and lose some more! I hope you all have a great week and good luck!

January Update

Wow this year is flying by already!! I hope that you are all having a great year! This next Tuesday I start back at collge. Last semester I was at TJC but this semester I will be at Kilgore College. I will miss TJC but it is not in our district and since Dad no longer teaches there it has just gotten too expensive for me to go. So back to KC I go. Last time I went to KC(about 5 years ago, yikes!) I didn't enjoy it that much. I hated it! Of course I had just graduated and school of any kind was the last thing on my mind! With this being a new year things are bound to be better! :) I'm just going to enjoy my last week off before school and stay positive about it all. Monday I will start helping out at the school where Mom works. I did this about 6 years ago and LOVED it! I'm also going to get on the Sub list so that I can possibly make some money. I'm excited about that! I think that is the latest news for me. Life is just flying by way too fast!

Stop back by on Friday for a coupon giveaway! :) It will be my first! 

Something Magical

Got your attention didn't I?? :) Yes, you read that correctly. Something Magical. I'm sure your wondering what it could be. Well that something magical is...Magical Peanut Butter Cookies! These magical cookies are easy to make and taste great! I wish I could say I came up with the recipe but I didn't. Another wonderful chef(in my opinion) is the one that came up with these Magical Peanut Butter Cookies. Let me give you a hint: She LOVES and I mean LOVES to cook with butter. Hmmm...you can think about who it is and I will tell you later. Sorry no prizes to give out just a magical recipe. 

Magical Peanut Butter Cookies:

1 Cup Peanut Butter, creamy or crunchy
1 Cup Splenda Baking Blend
1 Egg
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
Optional: Splenda to coat your fork with and to dust cookies

Preheat oven to 350. Grease or foil a large baking sheet.

In a mixing bowl, combine the peanut butter and Splenda. Mix together with a fork. Add the egg and vanilla, stir well. Spoon or roll the dough into balls the size of walnuts(or your desired size). Place the balls on the baking sheet. With a fork, dipped in Splenda(prevents sticking), press a crisscross design on each cookie. Bake for 12 minutes, remove from the oven, and sprinkle with Splenda. Cool slightly before removing from the pan. Makes about 18 cookies.

Note: I used natural crunchy PB and it worked just fine. I used the full cup of Splenda and it was too sweet. Next time I'm going to try just 1/2 cup of the Splenda. Also I didn't dust the cookies when they came out of the oven. I'm glad I didn't since I thought they were a little too sweet tasting.

These cookies would go great with a glass of milk. I hope you enjoy them! In case you didn't know, these are from Paula Deen.

Ten in 10 Week 1:

I have made it through week one! Yay! One week down and nine left! I have decided to post what I eat(Mon-Fri) here each night and at the end of the week I will publish the post. I think this will help me keep on track. At least for now. I might change my mind later.

Monday:

Breakfast: Turkey and cheese, bread, grapes
Snack: Cheese stick(low fat)
Lunch: Green salad with grilled turkey breast, cheese, sliced salad almonds, ranch dressing(I measured out a serving, and it was plenty!)
Dinner: Chicken salad on bread
Snack: Nuts and popcorn

Drinks: Water, sparkling water, diet cranberry juice, iced tea, hot chocolate
Exercise: Treadmill walked for a mile

Tuesday:

Breakfast: Oatmeal, turkey sausage, banana with yogurt
Lunch: Green salad with grilled turkey breast, cheese, sliced salad almonds, ranch dressing
Dinner: Spagehtti with meat sauce(ate way too much)

Drinks: Water, tea, sparkling water
Exercise: 45 mins(almost 2 miles) on treadmill

Wednesday: Went in for a root canal and have not wanted much to eat. Have only been able to eat soft foods so far.

Breakfast: Chicken salad on sandwhich thin, grapes
Snack: Cheese stick
Lunch: No lunch-had dental appt and didn't want to go on a full stomach
Dinner: Soup

Drinks: Water, tea(cold & hot), cranberry juice
Exercise: None :(

Thursday:

Breakfast: Yogurt
Lunch: Soup
Dinner: Noodles with cheese

Drinks: Tea, water, Juice
Exercise: None

Friday:

Breakfast: Yogurt
Lunch: Cheese, banana, bread
Dinner: Noodles with cheese & red sauce
Snack: PB crackers

Drinks: Water, juice
Exercise: None

I lost a total of 5 pounds! Yay!!

Goals for this next week I'm going to try and cut out some carbs(I love my carbs!), eat more veggies & fruits, & try and have salads for lunch! Stop by next Saturday to find out how I did!

A New Year!

2010 is a new year, it is the start of a new decade, and the start of the new me! 2010 is the year for me to lose weight and get healthy! Over the summer and fall I had lost just over 10 pounds. During the past few months I have gained most of it back. I have decided that it is time to lose the weight and keep it off for good! To help me get started I have joined the Ten in 10 challenge. During these 10 weeks I plan to:

• Lose at least 10 pounds
• Lower my blood sugar
• Exercise at least 5 times a week
• Cut out soft drinks

It seems like it might be easy to accomplish that now but I know that it won't be. I'm happy to say that by joining the Ten in 10 Challenge I will have a support group of other people doing the same thing. I know that they will help encourage and support me along the way. I have also joined sparkpeople.com to help track what I eat, how much I exercise and more. I'm excited to start along this journey and can't wait to see where it takes me!

For more information or how to join just go here. Stay tuned for updates along the way!